MAGA Republicans are hoping a sex toy will save them from Trump. It won't.
The GOP is clutching its pearls over a box of vulgar props at a DC event. Meanwhile, they're standing behind a president who was just accused of sexually abusing a minor.
In the wake of Donald Trump’s boring and bloated speech this week, Republicans started to panic about the midterms. Commentators across the spectrum noted that he gave the GOP nothing to run on. Then, an even bigger controversy exploded onto the national scene, one that threatens to sink the party’s ship in November. An allegation that Trump sexually abused a minor (and that the Justice Department covered it up) is fast becoming the biggest scandal of the Epstein files debacle.
Rather than distance themselves from the president, MAGA loyalists reached for the unlikeliest distraction: sex toys. Dildos, to be specific.
I never thought I’d write the above words under my own byline. But here we are. These are not — as they say — normal times.
Before I get to all of that, let me give you some good news.
I wrote to our members last night that our STATE OF THE SWAMP event to rebut Trump’s “State of the Union” speech exceeded all of our expectations. Our membership in the “Club for Courageous Americans” grew by more than 30 percent, meaning we will be able to do 30-percent more to counter Trump’s abuses of power. Our following surged by 50 percent, meaning more Americans are ready to lend a hand to our efforts to protect the Constitution. And we generated 215+ million impressions and views across cable news, print, international press, and social media — meaning the voices of the political opposition are being heard, loud and clear, even though Trump wants to silence them (and to deport our keynote speaker).
The room was the epitome of a “big tent” coalition, from MAGA insiders to progressive mayors. Rousing speeches from rising Democratic leaders, like Mayor Jacob Frey (Minneapolis) and Mayor Brandon Johnson (Chicago). Avengers star Mark Ruffalo. Veterans. Prosecutors. A former Trump White House press secretary who delivered one of the most extraordinary public breaks with her former boss we’ve seen.
It was at times serious… bold… joyful… weird (for sure)… and undoubtedly defiant. And it needed to be. Because as Trump was delivering his speech, a controversy was bubbling up that threatens to take the Epstein files controversy into the stratosphere, if it wasn’t already there, and to engulf his presidency. Rightfully. Any possibility that the president engaged in inappropriate conduct with a child deserves the full attention of the nation’s leaders.
Republicans definitely don’t want that. So what did they do last night?
They reached for dildos.
You read that correctly. I didn’t want to say it. I don’t even want to type it. But there it is. So here’s how it went down.
This week, we invited to the nation’s capital a group of loud, creative protesters who’ve been using absurdity to highlight the insanity unfolding in our country under Donald Trump’s crackdown. Their tactic is simple. When politics becomes grotesque, they mirror it with satire. At some point during the State of the Union rebuttal event, one of them smuggled in a box of sex toys and began tossing them on stage at our event. Sigh.
I was standing in the speaker bay offstage — laughing, horrified, and calculating whether I could sprint out there and shut it down without becoming a front-page news story with the photo caption: “Former national security official Miles Taylor holds a dildo.” My wife wouldn’t have loved that. So I stayed put.
Then after the throwing stopped, our producer heroically ran out to clear the stage so that Stephanie Grisham could deliver her powerful remarks without being framed by fluorescent props. (Stephanie, I apologize for the commotion.) It was chaotic. Silly. Unplanned and unauthorized. But that’s what you get when you have a big-tent political opposition.
Not realizing that the protesters were mocking them, ex-MAGA Republicans seized on the moment last night. In fact, if you find yourself wandering down the dark corridors of conservative social media today, you’d think Western civilization rose and fell on the appearance of rubber pleasure props.
The whole thing would be amusing to me (I could write pages on it) if it wasn’t being used to distract from something really gut-wrenching. When our team told me that there were almost zero mentions of the Trump scandal in conservative media this morning — and a historic number of “dildo” mentions — I felt sad for our country. Truly.
Let me put it this way.
A protester smuggled a box of sex toys into a State of the Union rebuttal event, and Republicans are pretending to clutch their pearls. Meanwhile, they’re dead silent about — and trying to hope we don’t pay attention to — allegations the president raped a minor and that his Justice Department might have covered it up.
That’s how far we’ve fallen. That’s the real “sex” scandal. And if it’s true, it’s horrific beyond comparison in American politics.
If you haven’t been following the details, NPR reported that DOJ appears to have deliberately withheld FBI interview materials connected to serious allegations made against Donald Trump. While the reported incident happened decades ago, it now threatens to consume his presidency.
Here’s the top line:
The Justice Department has withheld some Epstein files related to allegations that President Trump sexually abused a minor, an NPR investigation finds. It also removed some documents from the public database where accusations against Jeffrey Epstein also mention Trump.
Some files have not been made public despite a law mandating their release. These include what appear to be more than 50 pages of FBI interviews, as well as notes from conversations with a woman who accused Trump of sexual abuse decades ago when she was a minor.
Trump denies wrongdoing.
But Republicans are in free fall. From the moment the story dropped, there’s been an anxious (almost panic-attack level) effort to fill conservative airways and social media with anything that is NOT tied to the bombshell news story. It’s hard to run for office when the figurehead of your party has approval ratings in the mid-30s, but it’s even harder when he’s accused of being a pedophile and covering it up.
Enter: the dildos.
I don’t need to give the GOP communications tips anymore. (I was one of the GOP aides telling its leaders in Congress not to endorse Trump in 2016. They didn’t listen.) But here’s an unsolicited piece of advice to them anyway: the wrong way to cover up a bombshell sex scandal involving your president and a child is to try to pretend there’s a bigger sex scandal somewhere else. And I definitely don’t recommend waving digital videos of dildos at the world while your boss is being accused of abusing a child.
They won't listen. They’re just making our point for us.
As of this writing, FOX News and MAGA Twitter appear to have devoted more attention to accidental vulgarity (at an event they said earlier this week didn’t matter) than about sickening allegations of abuse against the president of the United States. They’re actually pretending to be angrier about a spectacle than about a scandal that could cost them everything. And it is going to cost them. Gravely.
Republicans appear to be doing what they said they came into power to rectify: aiding and abetting the coverup of a sex-trafficking ring. With the situation now ensnaring the president in an alleged pedophilia scandal, their complicity is taking on new shades of darkness.
In more than two decades in Washington, I’ve learned that distraction is not a sign of strength. When you’re pointing your finger elsewhere, you’re usually just pointing it at yourself. So when I woke to the screaming of social media commentators online — “Sex toys were thrown from a cardboard box in DC!” — I realized how badly they were flailing in the wake of the news about the Epstein files.
But it won’t save them from scandal or from Trump himself. It’s too late for that. Their only choice now is to jump ship — with righteous indignation and contrition — or to angrily shake a dildo in the air while the boat sinks beneath the waves.
It seems they’ve made their choice. History will not forget. And I’m certain that we won’t, either.
Your friend, in defiance,
Miles Taylor
I could be wrong, but I feel that best way to counter their maga bullshit is to ignore it and push the news story about his abusing children. He never should have been nominated for president. His inappropriate comments about his daughter were/are gross imo.
You handled the situation just right, Miles. Thanks for building such a terrific coalition, and giving us all more reason to hope that we will overcome Trump's threat to our democracy.