READ: The most transparent administration in history

So transparent it's almost see-through!

The Trump administration ended the week by firing the nation’s top labor statistician for jobs numbers the President didn’t like, redacting the President’s name from all the Epstein files, and censoring a Smithsonian history exhibit about presidential impeachment by likewise having them scrub the President’s name.

Trump really loathes me for criticizing him so often. So for once I want to give the President the benefit of the doubt. He hailed this as “the most transparent administration in history,” and perhaps he’s just following through on that promise.

You just need to see it his way.

Bad job numbers? Fire the messenger.

On Friday, of course, the President fired Dr. Erika McEntarfer, the Commissioner of the Bureau of Labor Statistics after she released a report showing sluggish job growth and downward revisions. Some people see this as political retribution for delivering an inconvenient truth.

But from his perspective, such bad news could put the economy in danger. Think about it: a bad jobs report might lead people to pull their hard-earned money out of the markets … which might cause other people to safeguard their savings … which might cause even more people to protect themselves against a downturn. Do we really want that?

Pretty soon, people will think Trump’s economy is going the wrong direction! And the good times will end.

Maybe Trump wants to curate a more positive data environment. In his view, transparency isn’t about reporting what is, it’s about reinforcing what ought to be.

America can be great again if we just believe in ourselves, data be damned. Isn’t that inspiring?

He didn’t need to remind us that he’d hailed the same “Jobs Numbers” from the same official when they were good numbers (Trump just weeks ago: “GREAT JOB NUMBERS, STOCK MARKET UP BIG!”). But those are mere details.

Clearly this corrupt Biden official was playing the long game to screw the President and hurt America by telling us what was really going on with the economy. And for that, she had to go.

Protecting a private citizen in the Epstein files

We also found out at the end of this week that the President’s team has apparently been overseeing an effort to redact his own name from the Epstein documents, sifting through them and striking out references to “Donald Trump.”

Now, I’ve seen the conspiracy nuts saying, “What? Why was Trump’s name redacted? It’s a coverup!” But I say: “Let’s not be so hasty.”

Perhaps it was because this administration respects transparency and privacy.

Trump’s name was redacted not because he has anything to hide, but because he’s a private citizen who should be treated with the same dignity as any other billionaire who once partied with a pedophile and then promised to unseal all the files about the pervert until he found out his own name was in them.

That’s called equal protection under the law.

Besides, the critics who keep over-using the word “gaslighting” to describe scandals like this are using the term wrong. Enlightened MAGA types know better: if you’re in a room full of gas and someone lights it up, that’s brilliant illumination.

American history restored at the Smithsonian

Finally, there’s the nation’s preeminent history museum, where curators quietly removed references to Trump’s impeachments from their presidential exhibit. He’s the only president in U.S. history to be impeached twice, so he was featured twice as much as the others.

Why would they do this? The museum cited a routine “legacy content review” which it turns out was directed by the President’s team.

I’d normally punch back and declare that this was Soviet-era censorship. But what if I’m wrong? What if it was something unexpected, like presidential compassion?

Hear me out.

Trump may have wanted to shield future generations of schoolchildren from trauma. After all, one of those impeachments involved a dark act of coercion and another involved a very violent and horrific attack on our seat of government. Do you want kids to read about such things when they’re visiting the same building that holds Lincoln’s hat and Dorothy’s ruby slippers?

Trump’s White House agrees with me. In a statement, a spokesperson said they were simply “updating displays to highlight American greatness.”

History is what we say it is. Now that’s the power of positive thinking.

A final words on words

We need to be more open-minded about what transparency means in the modern world. Perhaps the President can give us all a refreshing new perspective to bring into our own lives.

If the numbers are bad, they’re fake. If the document has your name on it, redact it. If someone recounts something bad you did, just rewrite the story.

Donald Trump tried to give us a glimpse into this empowering worldview during the COVID crisis. Remember? He told us it didn’t have to be as bad as we all thought it was.

“If we stop testing,” he proclaimed, “we’d have fewer cases.”

His words were Shakespearean in more ways than one.

And now?

He’s trying to show us that if we stop telling the truth, we’ll have fewer problems. You see, the Trump administration isn’t hiding their efforts at censorship. They’re erasing reality right before our eyes, to make it all go away.

So yes, this may well be the most transparent administration in American history because — by the time they’re done — there’ll be nothing left to see through.